Last Wednesday, I was so stressful about my works, and once finish work I am about to get excited of my trip with my girl to her hometown for the first time. But it seems not going to be as what I think.

Went to badminton, she looks not feeling well yet she is trying to control her feeling as her incident happened after back from Cambodia. Not really sure is it 'derealization' or devil spirit inside her heart. The way she treated me is different, yet i know i will be the positive energy to her all the time even she treat me so badly but this is not what her want and under her control.

We went to her hometown, Kuala Kangsar, Perak on the next day. I be the driver for sure :)
I am thinking to let her to help me selfie but get rejected, im thinking it might be because of her mood is not that good, just what i get the feeling from her is completely hurt. It is ok. i can bear it since this is not what she wants. :))

But i pretend to be nothing in front of her even though i am feeling heartache, i just want to let her know that i am fine and alright because she also don't want to hurt me in that way, but i am soft-hearted and so mind and cares about her. So, it is quite hurt and at last only my tears are rolling in my eyes during sleeping time and my heart felt so pain, so pain. Nobody will knows my inside pain.

Other than those hurting time, we have some happy times too. We go to eat some hao liao around, thanks to her for bringing me to expose Ipoh food! it was so nice and also her relatives are lovely and funny. They cooked some nice food for me and let me stay on their house, appreciated it a lots! and not to forget that to celebrate mooncake festival with their relatives, when i saw her smiling and enjoying, i am feeling relief because i just want her to be better, comfortable and happy.

She suffered a lot compared to me. I hope she will be better after all these and she is going back to her hometown again after back to KL. She said sorry to me a lot of times, she does not want to be like this and she knows her action hurts me a lot. Yes, it hurts me a lot. Sometimes i would want to be alone for a while, because the pain is way too pain. But yet, i will still wait her, because i love her. i know 'no pain, no gain'. So thank you for being in my life eventhough i am feeling heartache, i will be alright, so do you. Let's jia you together for a better future my girl! :')


11:17AM
28/9/2015
Monday