The Road.



Well, it is been two weeks that she asked for temporary break for 3 months. But everything doesn't seems as it be.

She is feeling afraid of me when she sees me, at the same time she is feeling guilty of me. It was kinda hurt for me when she deletes some of her insta or fb post about us, even deleted our fb relationship status. I hold on, telling her that i am alright. But end up my attitude ruins everything.

Until last thursday, because I could not accept the fact still, i decided to tell out all my feelings to her, we have a little quarrel in the phone because i do not believe that she can completely forget our relationship in a sudden, maybe is the feeling that curses her. I don't know, she just said "Not give me some time and space hmm?" I started to feel wake up, i think that i should not be so greedy. I should not just think of myself and did not think of her. Actually she should be the one who suffered even more than me, i know she does not want to decide to have temporary break to me. End up i promised her, because i seems like real understand of her heart. She does need alone, to think, and also time and space for her to figure out herself, find back her smile, find back everything. I guess she don't want me to have some hurt or bad things in our long relationships, she rather to let me have her real ownselves in our own relationship. She must be suffered a lot, a lot.

But i have face a lot of tough tasks which are, how do i face my friends, colleagues, and family? When they asked, i answered like we are still together, but my heart is pain once i answered all these. I don't want them to worried about me and feel like  bad news for them, especially my family. They are so happy when i have her. I am stressful and pain when they asked me about her, but i have to keep tough and tough and tough all the time. Other than that, eventhough i was trying to make myself busy, but end up insomnia at late night, dreaming of her every night, the feeling was like i thought we were together but when wake up, everything is nothing.

I worried that after three months, she will asked me to move on also, i can agreed to have temporary break and give her time and space, but i cant' accept real break, i will gone crazy. No matter what will happened, i will always chase her back, get her back to me, as long as she is comfortable. The road i am moving right now will be extreme tough as it torturing me almost everytime, but A man should be tougher than a woman, and i hope ONE DAY she will understand why i will do all these things, why i will not give up on her.

Just because, I LOVE HER! :'))))


Monday
3:02pm
9/11/2015